Awakening

They said You were a loving God

Beyond all myth and measure

Your grace and mercy freely given

Was man kinds greatest treasure

I’d known of You since just a child

I’d often heard the story

Of how You suffered and You died

Then rose again in glory

I was not at the cross or tomb

I never heard You speak

How could I really know you Lord

And feel Your love for me

My faith had been obedience

To rules and regulations

Traditions and security

Without hope or expectation

I longed for the reality

of being close to You

To hear Your voice amidst the noise

And know that it was really You

To ask the questions of my heart

To run to You in pain

To see You move within my life

And hear You call my name

I prayed for help to know Your grace

And through it to believe

To find the truth beyond the stories

That would truly set me free

And as I spoke that prayer to You

My eyes welled up with tears

Because I knew You’d been their Lord

Waiting all those years

You paved the way and shined a light

Through the darkness of my life

That led me to this place and time

Drawn by Your love and not your might

Family Travels or How I Learned To Be More Specific

Family vacations in a Suburban packed with kids, suitcases, camping gear, and dogs were challenging to say the least.   My husband was in charge of the dogs, making the sure the house was secure and fitting everything in the Suburban.  I was in charge of food, and helping everyone pack.

We were trying for an early start on one memorable trip but the kids were sleepy and unenthusiastic. Trying to speed them up I went into each child’s room to make sure they packed everything they needed. I handed them their suitcases and told them to take them out to be loaded into the truck.  They couldn’t wait to get into the Suburban and go back to sleep so they didn't argue.

We were on the road and making record time with kids and dogs asleep for the first few peaceful hours. The normal travel complaints about pit stops, dead batteries in the Gameboy and the classic, "she touched me", began when they woke up and increased the hungrier they got.  I dreaded lunch stops because the strategically placed people and gear somehow always managed to get rearranged in a less efficient manner.  This lunch break proved to be worse than normal as a cry went up from our youngest that his suitcase was not in the truck.  I was about to go and help him find it when the next oldest child announced that hers was not there either.  We all stood staring into the back of the Suburban as every inch was searched, only to find that the suitcases were indeed missing.  There was a strange moment of silence as we all realized we were past the point of no return, then the tears and panic began.

                I pulled lunch from the coolers to help calm everyone and stepped aside with my husband to discuss our options.  The trip budget could not replace everything but we decided to pack up and go to the nearest town to purchase underwear, socks and one outfit per child.  We were praying for a discount store with a clearance sale but were blessed to find a thrift store first and managed to get what we needed for much less than we feared.

                The trip was amazing and the suitcases soon forgotten until we arrived home and found them sitting neatly in the kitchen.  The kids explained that they thought  if they put them there someone else would take them out to the truck.  We chalked it up to sleepy logic and I vowed to give more specific instructions for the next trip.

Viva La Difference or Ode to a Staycation

Going nowhere sounds depressing

When looking for a time refreshing

My attitude may need adjusting

Before I realize the blessings

All I see is procrastination

Things I should, could, would have done

Screaming they should come before

Threatening things that might occur

The sight of things undone around me

Reminding me my time is not free

May bring it to a woeful end

Of being more tired than when I began

That thought train will lead to failure

If optimism I don’t secure

So determination sends regrets

For the invitation to more stress

I will let go, and take a break

And responsibility forsake

To take a hike and fish a stream

Sleep till noon and chase a dream

Escaping the box routine creates

Just enjoying the change of pace

For disappointment, not a chance

Viva La Difference

Double Vision

                Living in rural area meant long bus rides to school and back.  I was one of the first ones on in the morning and the last off at night.  I had my pick of seats but usually sat alone because none of my friends rode the same bus. Sitting in the back was a disaster because the cool kids would tease me to try and intimidate me into giving them the seat.  Even in the middle seats I felt like I was breaking up a group so I ended up in the front just behind the driver.

                  I rode the same bus for 11 years and had the same bus driver for most of them. I had discovered that the front seat had a great view not just from my window but over the drivers shoulder through the large front window.  Over time I knew every house, farm, and field on the route including the horses, cows and dogs that lived there.  I noticed what kind of flowers grew along the road during what season and anticipated them each year as well as new generations of livestock each spring.

                   I was thrilled when I saw wildlife along the way and one day after seeing a large buck I glanced up into the driver’s rear view mirror. He nodded and smiled directly at me and I knew that he had seen it too.  We never had a conversation but I knew that he and I shared a special knowledge of the route.  We began to automatically exchange glances whenever there was something special or new along the way. During the winter it was harder to see through the slush coated windows.  One day when I got on the bus I found that the slush on my window, and only my window, had been cleared off in a neat circle.  I looked up and saw the driver grinning but he didn’t make eye contact.  From that day forward I always had a clear view and I never even thought about being alone or unpopular again. 

Diving In

I don’t remember how old I was or why my father suddenly decided to teach us all to dive off of the pier that day.  I do remember being terrified.  I loved the water and wasn’t afraid to swim but something about jumping off the pier head first into the deep water scared me to death.  I was never even allowed to go on the pier by myself and now, there I was out on the very end being encouraged to jump.

My sisters went first.  Older and more experienced swimmers they showed very little fear and did well on their first try. My dad reminded me to keep my head down and just fall forward.  He assured me that he would be right there and there was nothing to worry about.  I stared at the water listening to my sisters and my dad telling me that I could do it.  Putting my hands over my head I closed my eyes and fell forward forgetting to put my head down.

 I remember wondering when I hit the water if it was supposed to hurt. After the stinging sensation came the cold and dark.  It felt like I would never stop going down but suddenly as if a rubber band had reached the end of its stretch I was propelled upward without ever touching the bottom.  I burst out of the water and into my father’s arms. He held me tight against his chest with one arm and used the other to swim toward the ladder on the pier.  He didn’t say a word as he helped me up and wrapped me in a towel.  The truth was that I had just performed the most magnificent belly flop he had ever seen.   He didn’t ask me to try again that day I think we both knew that I was not ready. 

Of all the memories of my father that is the one that is the most vivid to me.  Remembering how he was right there when I needed him and how he held me, understanding my pain and not laughing at or scolding me for my failure.  My father is no longer with us but now I have a Heavenly Father.  Even when I fail and it hurts and I feel as though I will never come out of the darkness.  He is there to lift me up, comfort me and set my feet on solid ground.  If your world is dark and cold and you are still feeling the pain of failure or the bottom has fallen out of your life, reach for Him and He will lift you up and into His loving arms.

A Ride To Remember

A family vacation to South Dakota included horseback riding in the Badlands.  We arrived at the barn just in time for the last guided ride. They tried to assign the horses according to skill level but most of my family and the two women campers joining us had never ridden.  We were instructed to keep the horses focused on the one in front of us and to stay on the trail.

                The ride was amazing, through a beautiful canyon with the sun setting over the badlands. Suddenly one of the women lost control of her horse and it galloped off with her screaming and holding on to the saddle horn.  Her friend tried to help and ended up in the same situation.  Our son thought it looked like fun and galloped off across the countryside having the time of his life.  My oldest daughter’s horse decided to take a short cut down the side of a steep ravine.  My husband followed and found himself in an almost rear end collision with her because she fearfully pulled back and stopped in the middle of the descent.  She told me later that she didn’t know horses could go downhill.  Our other daughter’s horse just wandered around in a circle.  The most I could manage was to keep my horse at a dead stop while watching the ensuing chaos. 

                Our guide turned around and scanned the horizon trying to account for all his riders.  He rode up beside me and with a slow cowboy twang said, “I seem to have lost control of my ride”.  I agreed whole heartedly and asked him what he intended to do about it.  He began to walk his horse slowly along the trail back toward the barn.  My daughter’s horses immediately fell in line behind him. My husband and son followed and the two women soon joined us as their horses refused to be left behind. We arrived at the barn with no evidence of what had taken place.  Although, the other wrangler did mention that it must have been hotter than he thought because the horses seemed a little lathered up.

Just a Big Blow Hard or Oh Lucy II

Everyone should have at least one opportunity to work in a factory during their lifetime.  It makes you appreciate the work that goes in to even the smallest things.  Machines do much of the work but there are still many jobs that require human dexterity, and an eye for detail.

One of my first jobs was in a factory that made plastic toys.  My first day there I was assigned to the assembly line that made inflatable kites.  I was given the easiest position on the line.  All I had to do was inflate every tenth kite with an air hose to make sure the seams did not leak.  I couldn’t believe how simple it was.  I forgot my nerves and imagined myself earning the quickest promotion in the history of the company. 

The line began to move and the kites began to fall into the box in front of me.  I watched carefully and pulled out the 10^th kite.  I had to keep count as I inflated the kite so I pushed the air hose in and kept my eyes on the line.  Luckily the kites came down rather slowly because there was some glue on the label that had to dry before they continued.

Bam! The noise was deafening and I was sure that I had lost at least one finger as I felt the sting of the plastic against my hand.  I heard a few soft giggles but the line never stopped.  I pulled myself together and tried to figure out how many kites I had missed during the explosion.

I took a guess and pulled out another kite.  Bam! I couldn’t believe I did it again.  This time the giggles were louder and I saw the supervisor heading my way.  She asked if there was problem and I said I thought I just needed a lighter touch on the air hose.  Apparently, I didn’t know my own strength because the explosions continued throughout the day.  They were fewer and farther between but still too many to keep the giggles from turning into icy stares.  I would like to say the day 2 was better but there wasn’t one by mutual agreement.